Relationships, Marriage, and What YOU Bring to the Table

22 04 2012

***For those that care to watch what spawned this Blog, you can right here:

Holy Matrimony Part 4

 

So I went to church today and got a great message that I needed to share/jot down, if not for anyone else, at least for myself.  This may not be completely in Blog format.  This is from a series of sermons on the subject of Marriage that have been preached by Zion Church’ s Pastor Keith Battle.  The title of the series is Holy Matrimony, and this was the fourth message of the series.  If you want to get more information on Zion Church, feel free to go to http://www.zionchurcholine.com  They even have the sermons online.  They usually put them online Wednesdays.  When it is archived, I will post the link to it.

These were parts that I took away from it.  I didn’t write every point because some resonated more with me than others.

- Dont have your woman invest her time with you and then let someone else reap the fruits that she sowed.

- Stay true to your promise.  It wasn’t only to her.  It was also to God.

- We as humans often want things we can’t have and have things we take for granted.

- If you want to grow spiritually, recognize that it will happen tremendously through your marriage.

- Great way to sum things up -  If you want to serve Jesus, stay single.  If you want to BE like Jesus, get married.

- Keep in mind that the more difficult your spouse is, the greater potential you have for spiritual growth.

- Marriage puts a magnifying glass on every flaw and dysfunction of self.

- Your spouse can tap into every personal dysfunction within you.

- As humans, we both have weaknesses and flaws.

- Often times Differences can be judged as weaknesses because that is not how we are. (Arguing vs being silent) “I must be right because this is how I do it.”

- When you focus on something about your spouse you want to change, it grows but you don’t.  So you stay stuck and immature and don’t grow.

- When I focus on SELF, God can humble me and work on ME, and I grow.  If I grow, even if she doesn’t change, I may be able to grow and mature enough to be able to accept her as she is, even if she never changes.

- I can still make requests. Just stay away from demands.

- Requests bring opportunities for gifts.  Demands require payment.  Payment feels WAY DIFFERENT than Gifts.

- Don’t Ride Negative thoughts about a spouse.  Forgive.  Let It Go (TD Jakes)

- Grow up.  Stop saying (I’m not that type of person to do X, Y, & Z even though she is requesting it.  It may take your relationship to the next level.  How are you going to want your relationship to go to the next level and not expect yourself to have to grow either?  That is like expecting a promotion at work, but you have not done a thing to warrant that increase of money, position, and responsibility.

What is funny about this, is that I am not married, yet I see how this very same advice can be used and used effectively in ANY relationship.





Yield

15 04 2012

It doesn’t matter how much you care and want to prevent something bad from happening.

Sometimes people just have to learn their lesson the hard way.

The only reason people are giving such advice is because they do not want to see you in more pain than you are already in.

You don’t believe them though.

You think they are being hypocritical.

You think they are being a hater.

And because of this, you will eventually learn.

 

Nothing special or deep.  To whom it may concern.





In Jesus name I pray… Amen.

3 04 2012




Random Rant #368,462

28 03 2012

1.God is watching.

2. You don’t have to believe in God.

3. God is still watching.

4. IF you keep your eyes fixed on other people, you will tend to make the same dumb mistakes they would make.

5. If you keep your eyes fixed on God, at least you will grow and learn from your mistakes if you make them.

6. There is no 6.

7. There is no spoon.

8. I need to watch The Matrix again.

9. I miss Tola, Tima, Diane and the Myspace days.

10. How did Myspace become wack?

11. How did Blackplanet become wack?

12. Does anyone still ICQ?

13. Does PackFM remember … nah… I’m not even gonna go there…

14. Does Mecca and Substantial remember that time in Jersey when True was about to catch a homi with an SUV?

15. I know Stan does.  lol… Always talking a brother outta things… lol

16. In retrospect, that would have been dumb.

17. I wonder if so and so ever used that beat I made for her.

18. I wonder if I can sell some of those old beats now to some of these dumb rappers with high-priced record deals.

19. I wonder when I will actually care enough to start making music again.

20.I may need to talk to some people for real to see if any business deals can be made.

21. I can’t wait to spar sunday.

22. I can’t wait to pay for this gym membership and start cutting weight!

23. I am actually enjoying myself today considering all things.

24. Prayer is amazing.





To Whom or What it concerns…

24 03 2012

It wasn’t you.

It was God.

I had to be brought back to Shechem to remember this.

I remember the Standard.

As for me and my house, we will serve The Lord.

 

View “The Standard”





Aint Changing

18 03 2012

 

The one thing that is guaranteed in this world is change.  It is a sign of growth; a right of passage from your current stage towards your destination.  It is inevitable.  

We all change.  Nobody truly stays the same.  If we did, then we would all be infants, for that simple example shows how important change truly is to us as living, breathing beings.

Change is physical.  Change is spiritual.  Change is social.  Change can represent the birth of a idea or the death of an era.  Respiration is change for if with stay at an inhaled or exhaled state, the change that we will undergo shall be a permanent one. 

Of course, not everyone sees the positive in this.  Some say, “Don’t forget where you came from,” expecting that the same person they grew up around will remain the same.  Keeping it real means not changing when you gain some wealth, status, or position.  I understand this to a degree, as every iota of a person’s being does not have to change when their circumstances change.

The key element to know is that change goes hand in hand with growth, and it is impossible to grow and to expect not to change.  It does not matter how you are growing, you will change.  If you cannot accept change, you cannot accept growth.

There are a population of people that refuse to be changed.  They don’t want a man or a woman to change them to be someone else.  They don’t want their diet to change, or their activity level to change.  They don’t want their work habits to change.  They don’t want their comfort level to change.  Now, we do live freely, and we can all choose to do what we want and how.  What we all have to accept is that there will be consequences for whatever choices we make.

So you don’t have to accept the change in your comfort level.  You can remain at the same level of existence that you currently have… with no growth.

You don’t have to change your work habits.  You can remain at the same level of mediocrity that you currently have until your bosses are sick of you.  As long as you partly understand that the lack of growth may eventually lead to you being laid off, you can chose to stay where you are.

You don’t have to change your workouts or food intake.  You can eat all the junk food you want and live the lie that your current level of activity is sufficient to keep you alive and free from sickness.  Your body may change for the worse, but at least your mind is still the same… right?

You don’t have to let that man or woman change you to be something or someone you are not  You can stay your independent self.  I mean, you know that getting that engagement or wedding ring is a change, but remember, you are against change.  Right?





Hard to Find… Harder to Leave… Impossible to Forget…

15 03 2012

As life sends you through your ups and downs, you start and progress to seeing who your true friends are.  Those that are around that truly care become as clear as day.  Its a harsh reality to deal with, however it can make you look at those who are indeed there for you so much differently.  The bond becomes so much stronger.  Your ability to talk to them about whatever, even if you don’t agree with them, increases.  It is not always about fun times, smiles and laughter.  In fact, by this point, it is no longer about that at all.  It is about Quality Time with those you love.  The quantity may vary, but the quality of it does not waiver.  You look forward to seeing that person, even if it is for a few minutes.  You know that you will be able to get so much out of that little interaction.

I have people that fit into this category.  I know people that have people that fit into this category.  While others people you know may be just as friendly as those you are close to, there is a kind of security blanket that those that are dear to you hold.  Only they can have access to certain areas of your life.  Only they can know what it is like to see you at your highest joy or to see you crying your eyes out, or to see you so passionate about something that you are shaking ready to fight.  That is love.

We don’t always have to be smiling.  In fact if we were, that means someone is lying and we need to distance ourselves to find out what their angle is.  The facade doesn’t count here.  Here, you show who you are at the core, I show who I am at the core, and we accept it as such.

One day, if The Lord so chooses to bless me, I would love to have a wife who can fit this position.  There is nothing better than waking up to your best friend every day.  The reality is that bond is supposed to be so much more than even the term Best Friend.  100% Trust, 100% Love, 100% support.  Amazing.  Blessings to those that have that bond.








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